Another one... I changed the answer to suit my own needs.
"Why can't a man living in Philadelphia, Pennsylvannia, be buried west of the Mississippi?"

"I don't have a shovel."
The Stupidest Riddle Ever Made.
Six copy cats were sitting in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left?
- None, they were copy cats so they all jumped out.

I got it here. Do to the site what you will.

Oddly enough, some of them are almost good.
Area 23
I originally found this place using Google's badass Keyhole program. Keyhole is, to programs like MapQuest, what a daVinci is to a Aboriginal cave painting. Terraserver, which the linked images here are drawn from, is about halfway in between. Keyhole has about twice the resolution of Terraserver, and is full color to boot, so if you want better pictures, get Keyhole. I'm fortunate enough to be able to use the near-miraculous nVidia version, which runs so smoothly it must be seen to be believed. It has a free trial period of a couple of weeks, and it's a lot of fun.

Pitch done. Now check this out.

I'm dubbing it "Area 23," because it looks like the HQ compound of the Ordo Templi Orientis as it might have been designed by Art Bell. (Oddly enough, I just found a site that kind of connects the two concepts.) The Area is located inside Fort Carson, a massive Army reservation in south-central Colorado, immediately south of NORAD, and, by coincidence, just a dozen or so miles northwest of the shitty little town where I grew up.

I've been in somewhat of a mood of late, so I'll now attempt the worst possible thing I could do: demystify it all.

The "Eye of Sauron" structure to the southwest, the most prominent feature, seems on close inspection to be some kind of massive radial launching platform for aircraft. As that area is labeled (vaguely) on the topographical map as "Targets," my hypothesis is that it facilitates the launch of (hopefully) unmanned aircraft for missile-targetting purposes. The five o'clock spoke clearly contains a "peace sign"-shaped vehicle of some sort in the Terraserver photo, and my Keyhole close-ups reveal one in the ten o'clock as well. Other spokes (2, 6, 8 and 12 in Keyhole), contain "+" sign-shaped vehicles,while spokes 3, 4, 9, and 11 are either empty or unclear.

In the opposite corner of the area, there is some sort of bizarre triangular complex. It bears an undeniable resemblance (which I find to be laughably trite) to that universal Masonic symbol of the occult, The All-Seeing Eye of the Illuminati. I'm thinking that this is probably the area where Surface-To-Air-Missiles are lauched from, with the "Eye" of the pyramid being a fortified control bunker, and the structures at the end of the six "Rays" being the actual missile launchers themselves.

The above-mentioned topographical map also labels an Orion's Belt arrangement of "Observation Towers." I think that it can be safely assumed that these towers are there to facilitate triangulation of airborne objects. This, combined with the "Targets" label, and the fact that there are moon-like craters everywhere to be seen in the area, would seem to make my hypotheis into a Theory.

While I'd love to think that this area is in fact the Top-Secret Ultratech UFO Testing Stadium that it really looks like at first glance, several factors argue strongly against this.

First, it is in close proximity to the decent-sized town of Penrose, famous locally for a several high-quality apple orchards. The Conspiracy probably wouldn't put a "TSUUTS" so close to civilization, knocking Criterions and Golden Deliciouses off the trees with their testing. Even if they had, I think I probably would have heard stories about it at some point during the twenty-odd years I lived in the area.

Then there's the fact that the pictures are completely uncensored. With Keyhole, at least, even pictures of well-known buildings like the US Capitol are, presumably as a matter of Federal Law, deliberately fuzzed-out. In the case of the Capitol, I'm guessing that this is so you can't see the exact placement of whatever deadly defenses are in place on the roof. A Top-Secret military base (like Area 51) shouldn't have any photographs available at all. Hell, I'm surprised that even a run-of-the-mill missile-testing ground should be so clear.

In fact this whole region is exactly the opposite of censored. These grounds sit in what is referred to (by Keyhole, anyway) as a "Hi-res" location. What this means is that the area has been photgraphed much more extensively from above than most other places on Earth, and so can be viewed with a much higher degree of clarity. As a matter of fact, this specific area is easily the largest of its kind in the country, possibly the whole world. This is all obviously public access, else I wouldn't be writing about it. Therefore, if it is a secret facility, it's taking the concept of "hiding in plain sight" to an extreme.

If you have more through information concerning this area (or even just a better Theory) please do post a comment or Trackback concerning it. I'd love to be proven wrong. :)

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